Lisa Nichols, author of “No Matter What,” suggests that everyone should have a team of people that we can contact during our “dark” times, when we are stressed out, lonely, depressed, or simply have the negative self-talk running our lives and need a pick me up.
I decided to try the exercise. Honestly, I felt a bit hesitant to make a list of people I could call when I needed support, prayer, or to just be reminded of my greatness, but I did it anyway.
After listing all the people I knew, I selected the ones I could count on to support me in my time of need without judgment. There were 4 people and my husband was at the top of the list. Now I felt very comfortable calling on my husband, Brandon, for support but as I looked over the other people on my list I became increasingly uncomfortable with the thought of picking up the phone and calling them during my time of need.
I didn’t want anyone to see me as a weak person. I’ve always had to do everything myself and have had a challenging time leaning on people for support.
So as I reviewed the list I noticed that all the people I listed as my support team are powerful, influential and busy people. So naturally, the first thing that popped into my head was, “Well I probably wouldn’t call them because I don’t want to impose,” and “I don’t know if they will have time in their busy schedule to listen to me.”
It was apparent that I didn’t feel worthy of their time and energy, even though they have always expressed a sincere interest in my personal growth and development and have always been there when I needed them.
This morning I woke up feeling a little blah…you know those days when you wake up and you don’t feel bad, you just don’t feel much of anything. I knew had to contact someone to lift my spirits so I called Brandon.
During our short 15 minute conversation I realized that it made him feel good to know that he was helping me transform my day. Then I instantly remembered a conversation I had with a friend last week. During our conversation I said something to her, it was a simple phrase that totally changed the way she felt about herself. I remembered how good I felt knowing that I was able to acknowledge her truth and remind her of her greatness. After we got off the phone I felt so good knowing that I helped my good friend create a better life.
Then I began to think “If I felt this good, surely, other people feel just as good when they help others.” I realized that I am not imposing myself and problems on others, I’m not taking up their time and energy, they want to be there for me, they want to help me.
By not allowing my support team to guide me and see me grow, develop and unfold, I was keeping them from experiencing the joy of helping their friend out. As I shifted my perception, I saw a whole new light and have decided to be open and unafraid of calling on a member of my support team when I need help. It feels great knowing that I am not alone and that I don’t have to go through my dark times alone.
I suggest that you too write down the top 5 people in your life (the more the better) that you absolutely know without a doubt that they will be there for you NO MATTER WHAT, without judgment. So when you have a low point in your life or you just need a pick me up, you can call them and ask for what you need. Real friends are always ready, willing and excited to see you grow.
